Grrr. Penmaenmawr. Grr.

Welsh words are improbably long and look difficult to pronounce. Thankfully, they are easy to type.

Penmaenmawr is a little town in the parish of Dwygyfylchi, in Northern Wales. There are a whole bunch of prehistoric sites located in and around this small town of less than 4000 people. This is because the hills around the area provided an ample supply of rock for a prehistoric axe making factory to be built in Cwm Graiglwyd. (The Welsh word Cwm means valley or combe, which is a special valley that's enclosed on all sides but one). The stone axes produced in this cwm were some of the best in prehistoric Britain.  These axe heads, like the one pictured to the right were very similar to the axeheads created in the Langdale axe industry.

The Langdale Axe Industry sprang up around what is now Great Langdale, England. This industry was roughly contemporaneous with the axes being produced in Penmaenmawr. In another similarity between these two areas, both seemed to like to produce megalithic structures, especially passage graves. Some of the axes made in Great Langdale and in Penmaenmawr have been found as far south as Cornwall. While this is merely speculation it would make sense that since all three of these areas are on the Western coast of the United Kingdom, that the interchange between these neolithic stone craftsman would have occurred by boats that dotted up and down the coast to facilitate trade. As is the usual case with trade, ideas and culture travel right along with the goods being transported. This could explain the similar architectural fascinations by people so far apart.

The landscape near Penmaenmawr is dotted with megalithic structures. About a half mile south of the quarry the neolithic Welsh used to make their famous axes they built a Meini Hirion, also known as a Druid's Circle. Right next to this Meini Hirion runs a contemporary road from the area of Conwy to Bwlch-y-ddeufaen, roughly nine miles of track that is only passable by foot nowadays. Back then that would have been silly to say because that was the only way to get around, unless of course all these Stone Circles actually happen to be teleportation devices. This road was likely used to carry goods from one village to another and facilitate some type of communal worship at the various meini hirion structures that are all over Wales. While Penmaenmawr has been relegated to a tiny little town in modern times, it was important enough throughout the ancient world to warrant the construction of one of the largest Iron-Age Hill Forts of Europe. The quarries around Penmaenmawr would once again bring a bit of life back into the area in the 19th century but as the quarrying business declined, the population and significance of the town did as well. Of course, its historical significance can never be diminished and it is for this reason it has received an illustrious blog post by a well renowned historian... me.

Neanderthals in Wales

The prehistoric era in Wales is a humongous breadth of years, stretching from the earliest inhabitants of the country by humans and their ancestors more than 200,000 years deep into the Paleolithic up until the Roman invasion of the nation in 48 AD. That span is much too large to cover in a single blog, but since we haven't paid any attention to this little section of the United Kingdom at all in either the podcast or the blog we thought it would be nice to give them a little love.

Neanderthal teeth from the Bontnewydd Palaeolithic site

To begin with let's visit Wales when it was inhabited by modern human's close cousins, the Neanderthals. If you remember, Neanderthals had the run of Europe (and the Middle East) from around 300,000 years ago to 30,000 years ago when they either died out or interbred themselves out of existence with modern humans. In 1981 the oldest Neanderthal remains in Wales were found that date back to around 230,000 years ago. The cave and surrounding area where they were found has since been named the Bontnewydd Palaeolithic site and has yielded a number of Neanderthal artifacts including bones, teeth and tools. This site, though not the only Neanderthal site in Wales, has been acclaimed as important because it marks the farthest northwestern point of early Neanderthal activity in Europe. These deeply entrenched Mousterian Neanderthals would have hunted along the vale of Elwy to survive during one of the many interglacial periods of the paleolithic.

In addition to the Bontnewydd Palaeolithic site a number of caves on the Gower Peninsula have produced some of the richest treasure troves of Aurignacian Neanderthal materials in all of the United Kingdom. Much of these come from the limestone caves in the region, one of which housed the Red Lady of Paviland who we'll cover in another blogpost because the Red Lady was not a Neanderthal (nor was it a lady but that's beside the point). Much of the Aurignacian Culture in fact points more to Modern European Humans, but there is some scant evidence that the Neanderthals occupied these caves at some period before the Aurignacian arrival.

Excavating in Coygan Cave.

Another site that has produced numerous Neanderthal artifacts in Wales centers around Coygan Cave. Coygan Cave seems to have been used by Neanderthals roughly 60,000 - 40,000 years ago towards the end of the Neanderthal reign in Europe. A number of hand axes from the Neanderthal period have been found in this area. As the Neanderthals were dying out for probably an amalgamation of reasons, the cave was occupied by hyenas, who probably were laughing at the Neanderthal's misfortune as we all know that hyenas are generally mean-spirited. It was about this time too that Modern Europeans starting showing up in Wales. To avenge their cousins the modern humans of Wales would eventually drive the hyenas from the isles. Who's laughing now?

Today in History, the death of Olaf the Black

On today, May 21, we profile Olaf the Black, or Óláfr Guðrøðarson for three reasons. First, Olaf the Black died today 775 years ago. Second, we couldn't pass up profiling someone named ... "the Black". Third, we couldn't pass up profiling someone with so many odd characters in his name, Óláfr Guðrøðarson, out of 16 "letters" in his name, five are a pain in the but to type in English. Thus, we simply had to let everyone know about old Olaf.

Olaf was King of the Island of Mann (Isle of Man today), as well as territories on the Hebrides and the island of Lewis (present day Scotland) and other areas of modern Scotland and the U.K. Olaf had ties to Icelandic sources and Norway and are chronicled in both these countries vast histories, called sagas. Basically, Olaf was a viking, who spanned both the pagan and Christianization of the Vikings. His legacy at the time was as a lord of the Kingdom of the Isles, a kingdom made up of small islands in between Ireland and the modern day United Kingdom. His historical legacy though is as the father of a number of Scottish tribes, which is likely poppycock. Just like his famous sword, the Manx Sword of State, this tie to Olaf is probably mythological rather than factual.

The sword, though claiming to have belonged to Olaf, picked up sometime on a Christian pilgrimage to Spain, is likely to have been made in the 15th century, a few hundred years after the black had gone dark (died, for our readers not familiar with our heritage). Olaf though represents much of what the late viking age was. He was a raider that terrorized people all over the Atlantic. His journey to Spain, if it happened at all was probably an event that the contemporary Spanish didn't appreciate. It was probably accompanied by copious amounts of death, rape and plunder. But, in subsequent years it was turned into a pilgrimage where he visited the miracles of St. James (Santiago in Spanish). For me the Christian whitewashing of vikings is fascinating. It represents both a modern and historical ideal, that of a Christian warrior, a pious man that could still kick some booty. In many ways these Viking missionaries probably garnered the kind of fascination that early 20th century mob bosses get today in American pop culture. We idolize them for their lifestyles while simultaneously thanking God that we didn't have to survive their exploits. But, let's face it, the only reason I'm profiling him, aside from his terror inducing name, is because his exploits are worth noting nearly 800 years into the future and thus, 800 years into safety. Had I been writing this blog 800 years ago I likely would have profiled Hrolf, the farmer that lived on one of Olaf's isles because Hrolf posed to me no danger. Since though I'm nearly 810 years younger than Olaf, I can think he's cool. Had he been my contemporary I'd like to have thought him a bully, or worse a dictator to be feared. But this is the beauty of history. We can relive terrifying events in Hollywood cinemas and enjoy the historicity and dramatic elements of the story. And since we don't actually have to face the sword that inspired the impostor that is the Sword of Manx, we can enjoy the debate of what is historical and what is dramatic. Methinks that if I had told Olaf that I doth beleiveth his sword to be of dubious origin, my head might have been wrest from me shoulders.

On this day in History, The Thomas Blood Heist

In 1671 Thomas Blood, an Irish fighter named Thomas Blood decided that it was in his best interest to steal the Crown Jewels from the Tower of London. Thomas Blood was born in County Clare, towards the Southwest of Ireland in 1618. He would play a part in the English Civil War, starting as a Royalist and eventually, conveniently switching to become a supporter of the Roundheads when it looked like the Parliament would win. At some point he decided to steal the crown jewels from the Tower of London. He undertook this venture on May 9, 1671.

St. Edward's Crown was
hammered to be flat by
Blood and his men so it
could fit in somebody's
trousers on the way out
of the Tower of London.

Prior to actually attempting the theft he had befriended the guard of the Crown Jewels. He went so far as to provide the guard with a promise of marriage for the guard's daughter that would include a nice little inheritance. Having tricked the old guard (he was in his 70's at the time), he entered the Jewel House with a number of accomplices who were aided by the use of canes. These canes were not necessary for the aid of walking, rather, they contained hidden swords, shanks and single shot pistols to aid the would be robbers. Once inside they clubbed the old guard and stabbed him before gagging him. Thomas Blood and his fellow cohorts then got their hands on St. Edward's Crown, the Sovereign's Orb and the Sceptre with the Cross and mangled them so that they would fit in their clothing in a concealed way.

The heist failed spectacularly. Blood was caught before leaving the Tower of London and his capture meant certain death. But in a weird twist of fate, Blood would be pardoned. His pardoning came because of two reasons, which may may or may not be mutually exclusive. It's possible that King Charles II decided to pardon Blood because Blood had a large enough following that King Charles II didn't want the headache that would follow Blood's execution or, that Charles II was so amused by the bodacious bungled burglary that he decided to pardon Blood on account of amusement. Much to the chagrin of English lords, Blood was not only pardoned but given land in Ireland and a title. Whoever said that crime doesn't pay was either lying or completely ignorant of this massive, albeit unsuccessful heist.

The heist was doomed, but daring enough to be celebrated centuries later. There have been 3 movies made about the theft, the most recent one being made in the 1960's. Given the current market of Hollywood it wouldn't surprise me if some epically terrible movie remake of this was in the works right now. But, in addition to awful 30's, 50's, 60's and subsequent remakes to come in the future, the heist inspired an incredibly nerdy board game called Outrage! The game basically has the objective to steal the crown jewels. It's not super fun. It's pretty lame in fact, but it's got a weird cult following. The following was popular enough that somebody decided that the game should include real jewels that were supposed to resemble the real crown jewels. This more expensive set retails for nearly $15,000, making it the world's most expensive board game. But, you can find it on eBay for about $19, minus the expensive jewels.

On this day in History

Today is May 1, 2012. May 1 has a rich European History, one which has reverberations that we feel today. On May 1, 1707 the English and Scottish Parliaments decided to join together to form the Parliament of Great Britain. The idea had been in the works since at least 1606. The two separate nations had possessed kings that had ruled both kingdoms before. But this union brought about the Union of the Parliaments, a political coup for both sides.

Why is this important? Well, the Scottish referendum for independence is coming up probably next year. This would mark a divorce in a 300+ year marriage. The convergence hasn't always been an easy thing to maintain. Scots have every now and again called for independence. The English have long held some notion of cultural superiority over their northern neighbors. Sometimes this was prominent, other times the slight was completely made up on the Scottish side. Either way this helps us know why history matters. If the United Kingdom were to split, it could create some fairly difficult times for both nations. The English nuclear submarine fleet would have to leave the deep lochs of Scotland. This would likely mean that the Loch Ness Monster would be unleashed on the public. Scotland meanwhile would instantly face a currency crisis. Would they stick to the pound? Would they get automatic bid to the Euro? These are tough legal questions. If they didn't get that stalwart Euro they would find themselves in a monetary, but not fiscal union with England. Considering how well this has served Europe recently, this might not be a great idea. Either way, it was on this day in 1707, that the two Parliaments came together, and for this reason the Act of the Unions is our this day in history focus...